“I feel like quitting the relationship. It is too much for me to handle. I didn’t deserve this kind of treatment at all. He has been so harsh with me all these years that I don’t find any future in this marriage,” said my friend on a 1 AM call to me. I consoled her saying that things will be fine soon and she should take a rest so that we can discuss things in detail the next morning. My friend cut the phone due to her agitated mindset and eventually, we texted each other and planned for a meeting at her house.
Lovely tips to spice up your romantic relationship
With no good greetings, she started her conversation by saying that her husband is a cheater and liar because he has always broken the promises that he made. She shared many incidents when she felt helpless and cheated on by her husband because time and again, only she got disappointment. Here are some ways I convinced my friend to manage the hurt that broken promises cause:
1) Learn to ignore the hurtful conversations:
Whenever you remember how your partner has lied to you and broke your trust and promises, you will feel more hurt and depressed. So, you need to make your life easy by ignoring those incidents and finding out a way out of them for a better future. You need to express your displeasure to your husband about how his constant lies and cheating have made your life an unpleasant journey. However, reminding him of his mistakes again and again without him feeling any sorry for the same, won’t be of much help to you. So, forgive yourself for tolerating all these times and forget your hurting past.
2) Find out the why of your husband’s changed behavior:
If your husband has been constantly lying to you because he is facing any major trouble in his personal or professional life, then you need to be aware of the same. So, instead of pinpointing his mistakes or changed behavior, if you both can maturely deal with the situation to understand the “actual problems” or “root cause” then it will be of huge help to save your relationship.
3) Not all men are the same:
Comparing your man with that of a fraudster husband who just deserted his wife on the news, won’t be of help. You need to get clarity of where your relationship is heading and that you can get only with open conversations. You don’t have to bash all men in your life by taking the example of your husband and vice versa. Just be okay if your husband has changed for the worse and you can decide to part ways amicably if things are really not working between you both for more than two years.
Last but not the least, set realistic expectations from yourself and others after you have had such a hurtful past with your husband. Even if you think of finding another man in your life post your break-up or separation or divorce, you need to learn to see life with a realistic viewpoint and not in a rosy picture.
