I recently watched the film Hey Sinamikaa which featured a love story between two women and one man. I wondered that the role played by one woman in the story who was already married was quite crazy. Well, she had a wonderful husband but wanted to get rid of him just because he talks a lot. She plots with a counselor to woo her man and later regrets her plotting and planning against her husband. After all, we live in India and our values are so intact that we sooner or later realize the mistakes that we commit during our courtship.
Telangana’s first gay wedding, Couple married in Hyderabad.
The reason I shared this story is that I always believed that happy couples ensure that their relationship lasts for a lifetime. For me, words like divorce, breakup, and infidelity are big-time sins that one commits in their life. Yes, I am orthodox and quite traditional-minded too but that’s how we have been brought up. We are told time and again, that respect and love are the bigger values than anything else in life. When we are born as human beings, our role is to help as much as we can and sleep one day when we have completed all our duties. Humans are duty-bound people, such as the thought process from where we come from.
So, what happens when we marry someone or get into a relationship with someone who is really verbally abusive. After all, verbal abuse is considered to be a no major sin or matter for people who are used to hearing foul words every now and then in their lives. I am not sure if there are any laws to protect people who always get hit verbally throughout their lives. So, if you are someone who gets up in the morning to get greeted with a torture-some behavior and cuss words for not living up to your partner’s expectations, then you need to work on yourself quite sooner.
You never know how the negative words can influence your mentality and make you become such a person in no time. If you think you already had enough from your partner and cannot tolerate it anymore, then you are already in an extreme relationship that needs the intervention of a marriage counselor and elderly family members. If you are new to a relationship and are finding it hard to gel with your partner just because he or she cannot live without abusing or accusing you verbally, then it is time to bring about some changes in their voice, tone, and vocabulary with conscious efforts.
You need to share and express how it hurts you when your partner tells you that he is sick or tired of you. You need to ask him or her to openly share how you both can work together to not have accusations, blame games, and comparisons ruining your marriage. If you are finding things are going out of control, like your partner is quite depressed due to the effects of the pandemic on his or her life, then take a short break from living together and stay separately. Try such an arrangement for a few months till you both realize the value of each other in your marital life.
