Living with partners in a marriage or a live-in relationship takes a toll if they have underlying mental health issues. If your partner often complaints to you that you kept the pillow on the bed in the wrong direction, or you didn’t take care of his mother the way a woman should, or you didn’t support him financially well despite giving him your whole salary, or making you dress in a particular way because he likes you to see that way, then you are not with an emotionally strong partner. You are living with a partner who is suffering from some mental illnesses and you are becoming a punching bag for him to blow up all his frustrations and negative emotions that are lying inside him.
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Here are some ways you can deal with such an agitated partner and save your marriage or relationship in the best way possible.
1) Keep the communication transparent:
If your partner tells you that he likes to see you in a saree only and you are not allowed to wear modern dresses or apply nail polish or go to a beauty parlor, then share with him that these are orthodox ideas that are bothering you the most. Tell him upfront that you married him or are in a relationship with him because you accepted him the way he is without putting any restrictions and expectations. You want the same treatment from him wherein he doesn’t come in your way of living freely. If he replies back to you always in an agitated tone without even bothering your feelings and emotions, then you are just tied to the wrong person in your life.
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2) Do not cry and bottle up your emotions:
If your self-esteem is being lowered because of the negative projections about you by your partner then it is his problem and not yours. You have all the right to lead a life you want and aspire for. If he is agitated because you don’t speak or behave with him the way he expects you to, then you need to open up and share your emotions with him. You need to express your sadness and displeasure with the way his treatment of you is hampering your life’s progress. Crying alone and resenting your partner’s ill-treatment would make you mentally sick. So, it is better you open up and share things as they are without adding any filters.
3) Approach a therapist:
Many times partner’s mental illness is the root cause of marriages falling apart. If you have time and money too, then go to a counselor who can give you clarity in seeing things as they are instead of emotionally clouding them up. You can share whatever comes to your mind and get therapy done for yourself first. You can also call your partner to seek therapy for his agitation in your relationship or marriage. This will help him to address his mental health issues and probably you both can work individually and together to save your marriage and overcome your emotional issues.
