“Mom, I want to attend Shreyas’ birthday party tonight”, said the kid to his mother who was staring at him for his aggressive tantrum. Mom calmed herself down and said, “No beta, you have to complete the tuition homework that Ma’am has given to you by tomorrow. Going today to the party will waste a lot of your time and you won’t be able to perform in the exams well that are scheduled day-after-tomorrow”. The kid didn’t like the fact that was being shared with him and started throwing his toys on the floor. Mom ran towards the kid to stop him but he entered another room and started making it a mess. Such situations are quite common among kids nowadays because they want things to happen their way only.
If you have a kid or know a parent who is finding trouble managing their kid’s aggressive behavior, here are some tips to manage the same.
1) Talk to your kid in a calm voice, not during the heated moment. The majority of the time, parents think that confronting their children when they are aggressive will teach them a lesson and bring about a change in their behavior but that is not the case. Children when they are angry don’t have control over how their mind works. They are in the heat of the moment and don’t feel like listening to anyone. You should figure out a time and opportunity when they are calm and relaxed and explain to them how their aggression is spoiling their life.
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2) Do not exert force to make a change in your child’s behavior. Remember when you were also a kid, you didn’t like being controlled by your parents or relatives. Same way, these days children don’t like being dominated by anyone and that includes their parents as well. Taunting, beating, accusing, etc. are not good traits in you as parents as that will set wrong examples for your children. You need to set the right example by sharing how comforting it is when the child explains to you what he really wants and what makes him feel that he wants something very badly or dearly. The more your child expresses his emotions and feelings with you, the more you can help him manage his negative emotions well and convert them into positive opportunities.
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3) If you feel things are going out of your hand, talk to an elderly relative or your parents. Elderly people know well how to raise children well. After all, it is their own experiences in raising you and others that help them understand your situation well. You can share how you are feeling with someone you are close to and get their expert advice to sort things out with your child. If you think it takes the professional help of a Children’s Specialist or Counsellor, then that is also a good idea rather than creating more differences between you and your kid.
Lastly, do not quit good parenting. Your strategy for raising your child is completely based on your experiences and thoughts. So, never lose hope and keep doing whatever is best for your child.
