Guilt trips are one of the forms of emotional abuse. The person who uses guilt trip as a technique to influence and manipulate others is the abuser and the person who does things as per the abuser’s ways due to feelings of guilt is the victim. I will tell you a story of a man who was too dedicated to his mother. His elderly mother was dissatisfied with her life and almost depressed due to living in a lower-middle-class household. When this woman married the son’s father, she used guilt trip to share all her sob stories of how poor she used to live during her childhood. The man felt bad as his wife could never enjoy the comforts of life and would always try to keep her happy with whatever means he could.
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However, this woman was not satisfied with that as well and when their son started earning well, she used the same guilt trip technique to manipulate his feelings and make him overly attached to her. He would not take a single decision without her consultation because she always guilt-tripped him to run away from her after his marriage. Her son decided not to get married and even thought of living only for his aged mother. But still, this woman was depressed and never understood the real meaning of life. Whenever her son would enjoy in his office with different meals or fun activities, she would guilt trip him saying that she never enjoyed such comforts and happiness in life.
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This would make her son sadder to know the poor state of his aged mother and he would stop socializing to keep his mother happy. When the woman found a girl who is quite well-settled, she decided to get him married to her without her son’s decision. When her son said no, she guilt-tripped him saying that she is aging and needed someone to look after her son. But when her son married the girl, she started feeling insecure and would always guilt-trip her son in such a way that he would always spend more time with his mother rather than his wife.
Eventually, the marriage fell apart because there was no time for the husband and wife to understand each other well. However, this aged woman didn’t realize her past mistakes and used guilt-trip again to convince her son that she was tortured by his wife who was asked to pay him a huge amount of compensation. This woman used guilt trip from the time she got married till her son got married, but she never understood the right meaning of love and affection because for her what always mattered was her needs and wants in life.
Guilt trips are really not good for a relationship or for a person’s inner being as well. It leads to toxicity in a person’s thinking and thus, he is never able to form good relationships with others. He is controlled by his negative thoughts about getting things done by others through the wrong methods.
