“You are just being rude with mom,” said Rohan to his sister who was a youngster stuck with her own issues. Rohan wanted his young sister to understand that back answering their aging parents was not the right way to deal with their issues. So, he decided to take his sister out and make her understand how to behave with their elderly parents who are going through the last phase of their lives i.e. old age.
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Rohan told Neena, his young sister the following tips so that their relationship with their parents is more cordial and harmonious.
1) Whenever mom or dad tells you something, just listen:
Neena always had this complaint that her parents always would keep repeating the same things over and again. She would get irritated that her parents never understood her perspective about life and would force her to do things that she doesn’t like to do in terms of career, taking care of her health, and even connecting with her friends. Rohan made Neena understand that as their parents are aging, they want to feel secure and thus, she should develop the patience to listen to her parents even if they are being repetitive or old-fashioned. This will help them to realize that they have done their part and they no longer would feel threatened by worldly affairs.
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2) Don’t bang the doors or express aggression:
Neena would often close the doors with a banging sound or even get up from the dining table if her parents bothered her with different types of questions related to her career. Rohan shared how he has also gone through the concerns of their parents and how he maintained his calm even when their parents weren’t offering him any wise advice. Rohan told Neena to smile often and change the topic if she doesn’t want their parents to keep diving into the details of her upcoming work projects. Expressing aggression in any form hurts not just their parents but also themselves. Rohan shared how he started feeling guilty when he realized that his parents were hurt the most whenever he used to back answer them in the past. After all, parents have done so many sacrifices and hard work to help their children wherever they are. So, this aspect should be considered by Neena whenever she feels insulted or dominated by her parents.
3) Consider them as your small children who are dealing with their own issues:
Old age brings a lot of mental and physical changes in elderly people. Rohan shared how Neena should focus on the changes that are taking place in their parents and consider them as small children. Rather than getting into heated arguments and asking them to upgrade themselves, Rohan told Neena to ensure that she trains her parents to learn new things in their life in a subtle and happy way. This will help parents get engaged in new life activities and also reduce their boredom and signs of depression which is the root cause of the understanding gap among children and parents.
