“Shut up you rascal! You have screwed it up again. So many people came for the engagement party and you decided to call it off just because you are unhappy with your girlfriend. You moron, you deserve no one best than her in this life. How could you make such an abrupt decision?” said Mohan to himself looking at the mirror. Mohan was suffering from a huge blow in his life as he lost his job just before calling off his engagement. He had debts to be repaid in a year’s time and such drastic changes in his life were making him feel like living in hell.
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Mohan didn’t stop blaming himself and kept the negative conversations with himself throughout the night. When he woke up the next day morning, he felt like running away from his home. His negative self-talk didn’t stop there and while he was packing the bags, he again was clueless about where he will go to. He found himself to be the biggest loser who had no idea where his life was headed. Mohan is not alone in this journey and you will find several people like him who criticize themselves for not being good enough in their life. They never stop the inner critics inside themselves and keep on going in their lives living like a failure.
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Here are some ways on how you can control the inner critic inside you and win life:
1) Become aware of your negative and extreme thoughts:
Whenever you get such extreme thoughts about your life, you need to put a stop to your mind to do further work. It is all in the thoughts that are manifesting into your reality. From the above example, you might have noticed how Mohan ended up taking wrong decisions just because he never thought of what he could do. Rather he ruminated over what he cannot do and got stuck in his life. So, whenever you get such thoughts that make you view life from a limited perspective, just stop then and there. Don’t encourage such extreme thoughts and try to distract yourself by doing something that is productive and inspiring to make a change in your life.
2) Appreciate yourself as a friend would do:
If you lack genuine friends, you may end up talking to yourself alone about how you feel and what you want to do. So, instead of criticizing over and again about what are your limitations and how you are not living up to the expectations of others, you can simply give an encouraging hug to yourself. Appreciate all that you know and look at the possibilities of what is achievable with your existing skills and talents. Don’t keep crying when what you plan fails. Instead, get up from the couch and think of what you can do to rectify the errors. Act as a friend to yourself who would never let you down. Make yourself an important priority of your life and walk on the path of self-acceptance and self-improvement.
3) Replace your criticism with more positive statements:
Probably you are habituated to keep scolding yourself because you have been raised that way in your school or college or household. But that limited experiences of your life shouldn’t define your remaining whole life. Instead of believing in those negative talks to yourself, try to challenge those limited beliefs with more positive and accurate statements about yourself. This will help you to come out of the mind traps that have stopped your success and growth.
