What is self-compassion?

Self-compassion involves being warm and understanding towards ourselves when we face rejection, make a mistake unintentionally
 
mom and baby
Image by Pixabay

Self-compassion is giving care and kindness to ourselves the same way we do to our friends or companion or children. Self-compassion involves being warm and understanding towards ourselves when we face rejection, make a mistake unintentionally, don't perform as per others' or self-set expectations, go through deep mental or physical pain, or get into the habit of self-criticism or negative talks toward others.

'Need to deal with compassion': SC asks Centre to decide on Rajoana's mercy plea in 2 months

Life usually starts with our breathing in and out. We usually sleep when we are born and then only after a few months, do we start to speak and walk. When it all starts with self in the initial years of your life, then how do you become so rigid and hard-hearted towards yourself over a period of time? Yes, life is tough and challenging. It brings several harsh days in your life that you just don't want to face and wish to God that you were blessed or rescued by someone to not go through such pain.

How to stop absorbing negative energy?

But that's how life is, don't you think so? Life is just unpredictable, never the same ever again even if you try to do the same things over and again. So, how do you practice self-compassion? You can talk to yourself in a calm and happy tone. You can give a hug to yourself whenever you are feeling low. You can give a treat to yourself for all the small and big wins. You can book that flight and travel to the place where you wish to travel alone. You can treat your body with scents and more sleep if you wish to.

Self-compassion is also self-love, which means that you are coming to the understanding that perfection at all times is not healthy. You can come to the self-acceptance wherein you are okay to have gained weight due to stress, you are okay to have failed at the job interview that you wanted to crack eagerly, and you are okay to tell sorry to yourself for pushing beyond the limits.

Here is a story of self-compassion. Anita always had the habit of criticizing herself whenever she failed at something that her mind was trained to do. If she missed the train or bus, she would insult herself so loudly that even others could hear about her. She would even talk nonsense to herself and put herself down in front of others when it came to performance reviews at the office. She would always compare herself with that her rich friends who led lavish lifestyles.

Eventually, she developed a kind of self-hatred that manifested in many mental and physical illnesses. When she spoke to a friend about the issues she was facing in her life, her friend guided her to read more books on self-compassion, self-love, and self-acceptance. Anita found herself in those books as she read them. She realized how wrong she was in ill-treating herself. 

She found that her childhood abuse from her relatives was one of the reasons why she hated herself so much. Eventually, she practiced acts of kindness and understanding towards herself. She became fine mentally and developed good self-esteem in the long run.