What is Possessiveness?

A healthy relationship is built only on the basis of trust and sadly, possessive people are never able to trust anything firmly in their lives.
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Possessiveness is mainly a fear of loss that they will be abandoned or left lonely in the world to fend for themselves. Possessive people are always worried that they will be left by their partner, children, friends, etc. This makes them build up feelings of anger, sadness, fear, jealousy, hatred, and many other negative things. A healthy relationship is built only on the basis of trust and sadly, possessive people are never able to trust anything firmly in their lives.

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Possessiveness makes things difficult for not only the person who is possessive but also the one for whom they are possessive. It creates a lot of chaos and misunderstandings between the duo when either or both the partners are possessive of each other. Possessive is not just present in romantic relations but also in friendships, between parents and children, between siblings, between office colleagues, between boss and employees, etc. 

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In order to avoid being possessive of things and people, one really needs to learn the art of trusting self and others. One needs to practice belief in themselves and the abilities of others. For example, an elderly mother may always be worried that she will be abandoned by her children who are now grown-ups. The thought that her children would go out for work or personal or family purposes itself gives her sleepless nights and makes her feel sad about her state of mind.

Thus, children of such worried mothers must keep the communication open and also give assurance that they will not be left alone in the world irrespective of whatever the situation is. This will reduce her possessiveness quality and make her feel good to depend on her children's care and affection. In order to get the love and attention of others, a possessive person can go to any extreme ends. 

For example, a person who falls sick at regular intervals despite having doctor intervention can be said that he is lacking the love within himself and that's why he wants to feel cared for and get the attention of his near and dear ones. When it comes to emotions, logic has no role in it. Thus, it takes some time a lot of positive energy, and effort to deal with a possessive person on a daily or regular basis.

Jealousy, controlling, dominating, hatred for others, etc. are forms of possessiveness only and have to be managed in a tactful manner by the person who has a relationship with a possessive person. For example, a boss may feel disturbed to not see his hardworking employee on his desk when he is on a vacation or on sick leave. 

In order to check on the employee, the boss may even make some calls or leave messages to the employee just to get the assurance that he will be soon back to rejoin the office. This kind of possessiveness is unhealthy as it creates a tension-kind of negative relationship and also leads to one person dominating and the other person sacrificing his self-interests to adjust to the possessive party.